Video: The Christmas Casuals

THE CHRISTMAS CASUALS

As Christmas arrives we look forward to the arrival of the Royal Mail Casuals.

These are people who come in over the festive period to help us out with the deluge of parcels, Xmas cards and Pizza Hut “2for1” flyers.

We already have a crack squad of Saturdayers, who come in on…err, Saturdays to help out due to the amount of mail and posties off sick with food poisoning or flu (read: hangovers). These are trained and have a basic grasp of how to “tie up a bundle” (work out how many letters they can hold in one hand and put two rubber bands around them), “bag up” (number the bundles and then put them in reverse order in a big, red satchel) and if they’re lucky drive a van (but not a transit as the sodding DVLA stopped automatically giving entitlement for them in about 1998).

At my depot we are fortunate to have a group of Casuals who come back every year to do the job and are reliable and trustworthy. One guy is homeless and is a complete laugh, cracking jokes and always smiling with what’s left of his teeth. Welcoming them back is like seeing relatives on Christmas Day (albeit ones you actually want to see again).

Unfortunately you get a lot of pratts, especially students who think it’s an easy doss and have no idea of the misery involved in walking miles in the freezing cold and having to remain polite when asked the same question again and again by customers (current one being “why are you so late these days?”)

One guy thieved about £60 from the cash box in the Callers Office about 4 years ago. Luckily for the other member of staff on duty at the time both her and a driver saw him do it. Without witnesses both would have been suspected and while no one would have got fired it would have meant the full time postie would have a shit time of it from Management for the rest of her time with the company.
Another female Casual was photographed by our internal police, dumping mail in a skip as the lazy little bitch couldn’t be bothered to finish. She got a custodial sentence of 3 weeks though, which brought a smile to everyone’s face except hers.

Another was caught nicking Christmas cards and taking them home to open them, presumably to try and find money as opposed to any desperate loneliness and the desire to pretend they were actually sent to him. He escaped a spell in Porridge due to loudly wailing in court about his drug habit and how he was trying to “get clean”.

This video kind of sums up how I feel.

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